Then and Now

For years, I laid in the midst of his bullsh*t

refusing to rise

defeating my true purpose at gathering myself like that of a true warrioress

showing I am better than this state he left me in

so there I laid in the midst of his bullsh*t

thankfully this is now and that was then!

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Add a comment June 10, 2011

2 Doors

‎2 Doors By Missy Smith all rights reserved

2 Doors …behind one lies love behind the other lies deception

which does one choose

answer not so easily known

2 Doors behind one lies love behind the other lies deception

easy choice ‘cept no numbers are shown

it’s 50-50 on which one’s chosen

blindfolded so to make the choosing more confusing

loves waiting

deceptions lurking

fate I’m not ready to temp

standing back I instead make it be known

Love I need you so come on home!

Add a comment June 1, 2011

My new fan page

Hello everyone, meet me at my page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=app_2309869772&ref=profile&id=100000357405121#!/pages/Author-and-Reflectionist-Missy-Smith/210154222358165 here is where you will also find my various thoughts and quips and my wtw( what the what).

Add a comment May 26, 2011

I am not what you think?

 

I am not what you think!
 
By Missy Smith
 
All rights reserved
 
The beginning of my calm…. ( This is for my past. I almost went to a place I swore I would never go. God is definitely Good)
 
I am not what you think
 
Broken, battered
 
Disheartened
 
Torn, scorned
 
Hopelessly walking in circles with no clarity in sight
 
Bleeding soul
 
Secrets of old locked inside my prison cell
 
Living hell which was once my mind
 
I find your patronizing stares now comical
 
Thought I would fold
 
Crack under your enormous pressure
 
Sensing your “I Win” attitude
 
But you didn’t
 
I Win
 
I Won
 
See I sounded the alarm
 
At an enormous speed
 
Alerting all to your demonistic tangled webs
 
You’ve so intricately weaved
 
So off are the shackles that once held me bound to you
 
Off are the glasses I kept my eyes hidden behind
 
I now thrust myself firmly into the light
 
Banishing you to that place of darkness I once called home!
 
 

Add a comment May 26, 2011

My Fault

It was my fault for placing you on that pedestal

Giving you that crown

Presenting you as royalty

Trying to turn you into that Prince Charming

While steady upgrading your status to king

For you were neither

Just a silly notion as you dove deeper and deeper into my ocean

Of uncertainties and pure insanity

See it was my fault

Giving you power

The power that eventually devoured my soul

Feasting greedily upon it with stealth precision

Simply a little girls’ delusion of finding her Prince

Amongst the confusion

Caught up in the fairytale

Caused my living hell

It was my fault

I let you in

Should have listened to those warning bells

And looked the other way

Not answered my door

Pretended I didn’t hear your voice or seen your face

Never should I have stared into those hypnotic caramel eyes

Yes it was all my fault for trying to make a Prince out of a “FROG!

1 comment April 30, 2011

Lost and Found

Lost and Found By Missy Smith

reserved, I lost me

my soul went on hiatus

dreams fell by the waist-side

breaking down I simply cried not knowing which road to travel

the darkest of hours, I simply coward retreating into the depths of uncertainty

didn’t know I could do it

survive this mental abuse he purposely inflicted

I wasn’t born to be this weakling

laying down letting the cruelties of life overtake me

and so I stood tall forcing myself through that wall

no more will his darkness be my downfall and I say with pride that I survived

no longer a passenger, I’m now in the driver’s seat

not quite fully healed, but more than halfway there

withdrawal symptoms of not mattering disappeared

you did not break me just bent me slightly out of shape

for 7 long blinding and brutal years I was addicted to every last drop of your bullsh*t

but I made amends to me promising to never succumb to you again

walking past your smile

moving away from your touches

losing contact with your lies

I now reconnected with beauty harmony, peace, all the things I used to be before you

and now my skies are bluer

my sun shines brighter

my nightmares are now once again my dreams

and the scars you issued no longer requires bandaging

because I am free to fly beyond the self-imposed limitations you once forced upon me.

Add a comment April 27, 2011

The Storm

 

The Storm

By Missy Smith

All rights reserved

When the storm hit, you up and disappeared

Leaving me alone getting soaked to the bone

So there I stood in the pouring rain

Wracking my brain still hoping you would, but you never came

Remembering calling your name at least a thousand times

Might have been a million but I soon lost count

Falling on weary knees as the rains begin to bleed my sorrows and misery

Foolishly thinking you were my knight in shining armor

The one to hold me through life’s thunder

Storm keeping me warm, protecting me from worldly harms

Promising me forever but all I got was today

Painfully standing on the sidelines watching as you walked away

So here I stand as day’s turns into nights growing fiercely cold

Wondering what it was I did that made you go?

Add a comment April 26, 2011

Serving Notice

Serving Notice

By Missy Smith

All rights reserved

With pleasure I am here

Walking bravely amongst those who tried holding me down

At every turn you tried blocking my path

Throwing up roadblocks

Undeterred, I simply found another road to travel upon

But make no mistake the road may have changed

But the terrain (my creativeness) remains the same

Deeply rooted truths now to the forefront

My granny used to say nobody’s business but your owns

Safely guarded secrets because of that statement

Purposely oppressing myself

See the wages of my sins ran high

But then I thought whose doesn’t

So I stopped hiding deciding instead to be front and center

Making apologies to no one

‘Cept the one who truly matters, G-O-D

The seer of all things

Reader of all hearts

Knowing mine beats above the normal pace

Excitable as I run this race

No more blocked paths

No more stopping this rain

My storms brewing so take cover if you’re not ready to get caught up in it

Soaking wet from the flows of this reflectionists poetic express

Add a comment April 20, 2011

Stereotyped

Stereotyped

By Missy Smith, excerpt from Blueberry State of Mind

You are not that pure as the driven white snow virgin society has labeled you

No, I am not that seductive whore many perceive us black women as being

 Yes, I am undervalued and underappreciated

Made to feel inferior while you were taught to be superior

“Pure Goddesses” they call you

“Black Tramps” is what they yell at us

See my ancestors paid our dues long time ago, only now it seems many have forgotten

Therefore, you attach more wages upon us to pay

The epitome of a society bearing no morals

From back in the day to now here in this day discrimination still running deep

And yes, I still refuse to be anyone’s wooly haired sheep

Know that I walk with a stride that can’t be denied

No matter how hard you try I refuse to backslide I ride the front

Sit where I want

Talk what I feel all while displaying beautifully confident appeal 

See Mama made educating us her main priority

Articulate strong “Black Nubian Queen” on this scene

Refusing to be caught up in racial divisions

Radical decisions hell-bent on weakening instead of strengthening

Power to the people, yeah I got that memo

See my strength lies within many factors that make up my genetic symmetry

Ain’t I a woman said Sojourner Truth?

After all this sexist bull, I had better be!

Add a comment April 20, 2011

In the absence of morals

In the absence of morals there’s too much freedom
running around with no sense of pride
giving up precious pearls just to fit in
no sense of respect
no honor amongst yourself
the allowance of strangers becoming your constant invaders
plainly put your core’s becoming non special
so comes the wonders of why can’t I find that special one?
because you’ve  let too many so-called special ones already degrade your gift
but it’s ok you say, you’re just having fun
until that trip to the doctor tells you different
now’s the dilemma what do you do?
as flash back thoughts of times past brings wishes of if only you could go back
when your conscience screamed slow down
and so the tears flow
the prayers become steady
now you wish for God to intervene
why must one wait for tribulations before asking for his mercy?
he is always there not just through life’s storms
In the absence of morals our mental and physical temples become defiled
at the hands of our own doings
why why why
forgetting the basic of rules
one must crawl before walking
walk before running
looking before crossing
instead choosing to plunge full steam ahead
it is those absent morals that has your soul now dead
walking damaged amongst confusion
disillusioned
searching for answers in all the wrong places
tainted love, abandoned dreams
flowerless fields of despair
where does it stop?
when does it end?
it ends when you allow your moral-less being to stop being absent!

Add a comment April 18, 2011