What he didn’t want me to know!

June 21, 2011 misstakenidentity33


What He Didn’t Want
Me to Know
by Missy Smith
excerpt from book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths
He didn’t want me to know he was not a man
In body yes, in mind hell no!
Does he really think God likes this way he portrays?
He was smooth, though not to some
But enough for me whose soul’s been shattered too many times
to count
Telling me all I needed to hear, how insatiably I consumed it
Tall, confident, all mine, or so I thought
He didn’t want me to know his true makeup
He was a weak deceiving manipulator
Does he really think God likes the games he intentionally chose
to play?
He said I love God, but really, he didn’t
How could he when he acted in the devils manner
He said we were together, each other’s better half
What he didn’t want me to know was he also said this to his other
woman
He said we were going to get married
What he didn’t want me to know was he was only right on half of it
He did get married only not to me
See he didn’t want me to know his true character was flawed
Truth nowhere in his vocabulary
Nor in his actions
He didn’t want me to know I was actually much stronger than I
originally thought
But if he gave me that way to see this then he knew he’d been
gone long ago
Therefore, he decided not to show his true colors
These entailed cloudy skies
And sunless days
Making me believe I needed him
Didn’t have much to do except keep me fed with his untruthfulness
Didn’t know he would use my life’s pain against me
Why wouldn’t he though when I gave him the perfect ammunition
All my fears and insecurities
Reasons I gave him for never believing
I told myself but really I was not myself
Tears by the bucket full filled my insane self
If I was not frenzied then, I surely am now
Trying to figure out this entity I let keep entering me
What was it about him that made me crave him?
All part of what he strategically didn’t want me to know

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One Comment Add your own

  • 1. misstakenidentity33  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    book excerpt from Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths. Go get ur copy TODAY!


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