You and I

You and I

by Missy Smith

There is no more “You and I”

There is now you and i

See the You and I that was once us has now been put to rest Buried deep inside the place of no return

That moment in time when I was yours and you were mine

No longer rings truth

See you bolted like Usain

Standing in pains internal rain

5 Years of tears and verbal abuse only you couldn’t see nor hear those emotional truths I hurled at you

But I stood before God, staring myself smack in the face

Forcing myself out of self-inflicted darkness

And now, oh yes now I am in a much better place

So no, there is no more “You and I”

There is however you and i

Add a comment July 15, 2011

Caylee Marie Anthony

Gone much too soon

By Missy Smith

Little Princess

Gone before you could be called Queen

Eyes wide so full of innocence

Innocence that has been snatched by a monster

A monster who you never knew would erase your existence

You were a bubbly, energetic bright eyed brown haired little girl

And now you are gone much too soon

Taken away before anyone could ever know your true spirit

Your tenacity, the woman you will never grow to be

Gone much too soon

A life, yours graced those around you for however brief still brought them happiness and joy

For you are (by those who matters) forever loved

Remembered moments dancing freely across their conflicted minds

As thoughts of you no longer here brings genuine tears

There was a better choice

Yet your existence snatcher chose not to take it

Selfishly causing the release of your fragile spirit

Gone much too soon

A light that only momentarily flickered

A cool breeze briefly blowing

A smile now only remembered in memory

Of Caylee Marie Anthony

For you I never got the chance to meet

But have gotten the opportunity to know

To see the love from those who shall miss you so

Yes Caylee the world has been introduced to you

Even though you are gone now much much much too soon

Add a comment July 6, 2011

Now I know!

So I decided to write this little piece today because I had to release some inner emotions and upon doing so these words sprang forth. Enjoy.

Now I know
by Missy Smith
2011

It wasn’t quite clear in the beginning how I got here
For I was that happy go lucky chick
Never did think my sh@t would ever stink
But it did
See u were that sh@t I let stink up my spirit
Dirtying my soul
Bit@h a@ss ni@@a
Yes, I said it
Had me strung out on a fantasy
That daily bulls@t you constantly fed me
Together forever
And damn did I greedily consume it
Never been one who stepped outside my womanly zone
See I knew where and how to take care of “MY HOME”
Yet you stepped outside the covenant of our commitment
Everything walking you went stalking
Still with the belief I would continuously forgive
See love had me once fooled
Twice schooled
Third time was the eye opener
days 7 years straight
Love had me sprung
365 days 5 years later
Love had me sending you and your asinine games packing back to your momma’s house!

 

Add a comment June 30, 2011

Gone

Author Missy Smith
Broken hearted
Or rather slightly bent
Mangled thoughts
Distorted feelings
Protect me
…I’m Falling
Fearing the ramifications
Of walking away
So thru all your bullsh@t I stayed
Loving you not it nonetheless
Internally complaining
Mentally you’ve drained me
Stop, leave to self I scream
But, I can’t
Or can I
Do I
Will I
Should I
At least try
Seeing things my(way)
New day
Dust til Dawn
Gone……

Add a comment June 26, 2011

What he didn’t want me to know!

What He Didn’t Want
Me to Know
by Missy Smith
excerpt from book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths
He didn’t want me to know he was not a man
In body yes, in mind hell no!
Does he really think God likes this way he portrays?
He was smooth, though not to some
But enough for me whose soul’s been shattered too many times
to count
Telling me all I needed to hear, how insatiably I consumed it
Tall, confident, all mine, or so I thought
He didn’t want me to know his true makeup
He was a weak deceiving manipulator
Does he really think God likes the games he intentionally chose
to play?
He said I love God, but really, he didn’t
How could he when he acted in the devils manner
He said we were together, each other’s better half
What he didn’t want me to know was he also said this to his other
woman
He said we were going to get married
What he didn’t want me to know was he was only right on half of it
He did get married only not to me
See he didn’t want me to know his true character was flawed
Truth nowhere in his vocabulary
Nor in his actions
He didn’t want me to know I was actually much stronger than I
originally thought
But if he gave me that way to see this then he knew he’d been
gone long ago
Therefore, he decided not to show his true colors
These entailed cloudy skies
And sunless days
Making me believe I needed him
Didn’t have much to do except keep me fed with his untruthfulness
Didn’t know he would use my life’s pain against me
Why wouldn’t he though when I gave him the perfect ammunition
All my fears and insecurities
Reasons I gave him for never believing
I told myself but really I was not myself
Tears by the bucket full filled my insane self
If I was not frenzied then, I surely am now
Trying to figure out this entity I let keep entering me
What was it about him that made me crave him?
All part of what he strategically didn’t want me to know

1 comment June 21, 2011

Love

Love

By Missy Smith

All rights reserved

2011

Love, u once hurt me

Twice burned me

3times was I ur victim

Love,

I still welcome you

Breathing in aromas only you can produce

Successfully unsuccessful in capturing you completely

Still not enough for me to ever leave see,

Your train ride is unbelievable

In and out of realities you have taken me

Love,

Through all this I should fear you

But I don’t

For our journey though at times were bumpy

I learned necessities along the way

Uncharacteristically pedal-stooling many

Bleeding heart at times slammed shut

Wondering at times are you even worth it Love,

Many a sleepless night

Coupled with tear-filled days

Still love, u never forgot my name

Whispering to me seductively

I am still HERE….

Come and get ME!

 

Add a comment June 20, 2011

Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith

 

Blueberry State of Mind,

 

a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith

 

Takes her place amongst the literary greats.

What happens when a little girl becomes lost in a vicious cycle of physical and mental abuse while facing life’s cruelties which takes her in and out of reality daily?

What happens when love, abuse, life, and surviving finally collides?

Blueberry State of mind is what happens.

Missy Smith, author of the book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths addresses these very things as she takes readers on an emotional journey (130pp, $19.99 Paperback, $29.99 Hardcover)

Experiencing years of self-inflicted darkness, Blueberry State of Mind poetically details the author’s dysfunctional life from the age of six to now as she tries balancing this rollercoaster called life.

Love, Hate, Sorrow, Joys and much more are all depicted inside these very pages.

This book written for the sole purpose of helping others to also overcome focuses on acknowledging, embracing and surviving.

Blueberry State of Mind is that journey to healing.

ISBN13 Soft cover: 978-1-4568-3411-1

ISBN13 eBook: 978-1-4568-3413-5

ISBN13 Hardcover: 978-1-4568-3412-8

 

Published by Xlibris

Order Today!

Order from your local bookstore,

Call 888-795-4274 ext. 7879, or order online at

http://www.xlibris.com, http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Or http://www.amazon.com

 

To arrange book signings and or interviews,

 

contact Missy Smith

 

Email:get_em_gyrl37@yahoo.com

 

Phone: 240-271-5335

 

Add a comment June 18, 2011

Dear Diary,

My pen bleeds with knowledge that’s floating dangerously around inside my fragile mind
Releasing secrets told only to the pages of my diary, filling them to its brim
In and out of reality
I cry, but only to the pages of my diary
My diary, my friend, my savior, the one for whom I love and hate
Keeper of my thoughts
Savior of my realities…..

Add a comment June 17, 2011

Missy….

I am not broken
Or damaged,
I am not bitter
Or defeated
I am not that confused, abused, misused little girl u once wreaked havoc upon
I am not a victim
I am a Survivor
Truth amongst all truths
A woman magnified x’s 10
Standing before you head high
Full of pride and self-worth
See I know my status
Recognized my potential
And now I live the dream you thought you killed
Smiling the smile u thought would remain a frown
Walking the road you once blocked me from
Rejuvenated, Reinvigorated, Renewed
Calm amongst your dying storm
No longer struggling, drifting, nor trying to stay afloat
I am who “I” was destined to be
MISSY……

Add a comment June 13, 2011

Does it ever?

Does pain truly fades with time?
Does the heart ever really heal?
Does the devastation ever really ease?
Does comfort ever really finds ones soul and soothes it?
Does the loneliness ever subside?
Does time really heal all wounds?
Does saying ok ever really become the truth?

Add a comment June 13, 2011